How To End Software Piracy In One Step
September 14 , 2007 ... posted by Mike
I, Mike of Headshot Radio, will tell everyone how to stop Piracy in 1 step … Call it Ass-Shovelry.
The problem of piracy has been around since before there was recorded history. The idea of taking things that don’t belong to you en-mass is a very old one indeed. While there still may be pirates roaming the seas … according to my dad at least … modern day piracy is on the rise big time. With the ease and availability of technology, piracy is a bigger problem today than it ever was in the days of Blue-beard. Who can honestly say that they have never illegally downloaded a song, ripped a DVD or gotten a computer program for free? Put you hands down … you’re lying.
But why in the history of humans has there always been a history of piracy? Easy answer there … it’s profitable and it’s cool sounding.
Who doesn’t want to be a pirate? Pirates are bad ass … they get chicks … they’re rich … they carry swords. In today’s world … there is no real personal downside to occasional piracy. It’s a problem that can’t be stopped by laws or enforcement of laws … it’s a problem of social stigma. Calling stealing piracy is like calling murder “ninjitsu.”
My solution? Call piracy ass-shovelry and all your problems are solved. While 90% of the people in the world wouldn’t mind being referred to as a pirate … I guarantee no one would enjoy being called an ass-shoveler. Watch how well this works …
Even if you got to wear a bad ass hat and carried a rapier and a gun … you’d still be an ass-shoveler.
Even if you were the most handsome and richest pirate in the world … you’d still look like an ass-shoveler.
Even if you owned an island with buried treasure … if you dug it up … you’d find ass.
I think that ass-shovelry is the one phrase that can’t be made to sound cool … even though I’ve been trying for the last three months. No matter what … \ it’s never awesome to be referred to as an ass-shoveler. Never.
I think that everyone needs to jump on this and embrace it as soon as possible and maybe in the next 100 years we can wipe piracy … er … ass-shovelry off the planet for good.
“Arrrggggg … gives collecting booty a whole new meaning.”